The Hodge Podge

2010-03-08T08:41:00.000-08:00

Jerek brought me this bouquet Saturday morning and loudly proclaimed, " I stinkin' love you!".
I thought it was so cute I put them in a vase and set them on my table. Later my mother-in-law came over and she was very concerned as to the smell of my garbage can. It wasn't the garbage but the skunk cabbage flowers. I had to throw them out, but I thought they were a bit pretty while they lasted.

Brown egg.

2010-02-08T10:00:00.001-08:00

One of my hens that wasn't laying laid a brown egg yesterday! We had only to white chickens laying white eggs till now. I am so proud of her, she deserves a hug!=)

Hatch!

2010-02-07T19:51:00.001-08:00

So 9 out of 11 eggs have hatched so far and at least one of the other 2 is trying to get out. I am so surprised at the success rate since I really didn't know what I was doing. Here are some pics.
They somehow ended up in reverse order when I uploaded them.

Egg Update

2010-02-01T13:11:00.000-08:00

I candled my incubating eggs yesterday and they are all growing save one. They are supposed to hatch around Sunday. I can't wait!
I also added some new eggs to the incubator last Sunday. They appear to all be growing so I potentially could have 22 baby chicks in a couple weeks. Now to figure out what to do with the roosters... We might use them for fryers. We'll see when the time comes I guess. I will take pictures of when they hatch and post them next week.

Also other news at the Hodge farm, I know for sure one of my goats are pregnant. I was brushing her yesterday and noticed I could feel the babies kicking. It was so cool. She is starting to make an udder too so I know she is pregnant. I am not sure about my other doe. I suppose time will tell.

2010-01-18T09:55:00.000-08:00

Here is the first day of trying to incubate some chicken eggs. They are all laid out here and marked so I know if I have turned them all.

I look through the window of the incubator.

And a look at the whole incubator.

I don't know if any of these eggs will hatch. I got them from my mother-in-law who has a rooster but we don't know if these eggs are actually fertilized. I can candle them on day 8 to see if there is anything doing on in the eggs, so I will take pictures of that and post them.

2010-01-16T10:53:00.001-08:00

When we first moved out here I had some chickens. I had 11 of them. Between our dog we had and something that was breaking into the henhouse I ended up being down to 5.
Jerek helped me build a chicken tractor near our house, but it ended up being bigger than a chicken tractor. The hens don't mind the extra space though.
Here are some pictures of the ladies in their new house.

We have 2 hens that are laying right now. I am hoping with the days getting longer the rest will start soon.
In true hick fashion I converted on old microwave cart into a nestbox.

I usually let them out to roam during the day, but I want them to get used to their new home. They need to know where to go at night and where to lay their eggs.

They really want out. they were climbing all over the wire trying to get out.

I would like to have a couple more hens. i am going to try my hand at incubating and hatching some. I borrowed an incubator and my mom-in-law has a rooster and hens so I can get fertilized eggs from her. When I get that up and running I will post pictures of that.

2009-12-29T10:02:00.000-08:00

Wow! It had been forever since I posted on here. I mainly post on facebook so I have completely neglected my blog. I will try to do better and post more often for those that may actually still check here for updates.
since I last posted we have had a lot of changes in our life. Jerek got laid off from his job in Hillsboro in february last year. We put our house up on the market as we didn't know where we were headed financially. We had been given some money and were going to use it to take the kids to disneyland, so we went the first week in April. Went to coquille to leave tait and alison with the grandparent and while we were there, my mom said someone we know and goes to their church said he could get Jerek a job where he works as a civil engineer. We left to go to california and while we were gone we had 2 offers on our house. When we got home Jerek went in to talk to the boss at the civil engineering firm and found out he knew him too. He ended up getting the job and we moved all our stuff into his parents garage by the end of april. We pretty much left to go on vacation and never went back.
We ended up ina house out of town with 23 acres. Pretty much our dream. We have been working hard to improve the land and build fences so we can put some sheep on the land.
I have some goats I am going to milk in the spring and some chickens.
The kids are growing and learning so much by being out here. So am I to be truthful! Jerek is getting a kick out of watching me wrestle the goats down to treat their hooves to give them shots, and I would do that over dishes or laundry any day.
I will try to get some pics of our new life in the country but I am bad about that so no promises.=)

A petition to protect ourselves

2009-01-22T17:26:00.000-08:00

Jerek's cousin-in-law created an online petition to sign if you agree in our right to keep (own) and bear (carry) arms in the United States.

http://www.petitiononline.com/SSA2009/petition.html

Once it reaches 3.1 million signatures (only 1% of the US population in Jan. 2009) it will be submitted to Congress. This petition is partially in response to the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTq2NEUlhDE

He says:

"I don’t think a little online petition will do much, but it can be a good reminder to our government about what we care about. Like sticking a post-it note on the desk of all 535 members of Congress. (100 Senators, 435 in House of Representatives)

Did you remember that when the states adopted the Constitution they met and drafted amendments to it and sent that list back to the Federal government? Those amendments are called the Bill of Rights. The States stipulated the right to bear arms, and it is well known that at the time the intention was to enable the people to protect themselves from potential tyranny of their government like they had while under British rule.

My Sham-Wow call to action:

I know you probably get email that asks you to forward them on, let’s face it…this is another one. If you don’t feel comfortable forwarding the email, no problem. Maybe you could link to the petition on your website(s) or post a link in a forum or blog you read? The important thing is that you take some kind of action. So many emails come through that say to forward them but what does that really do? Nothing. In this case you’ve got a non-committal option to take action, just sign the petition and maybe let other people know about it too. No flying to DC for a rally, no debate with people whose intellect your not so sure about, just a few clicks here and there."

--Robert Ault

North Bend, Oregon

The constitution can be read in its entirety online at:
http://www.constitution.org/constit_.htm

Along with the full Bill of Rights submitted as explanatory and restrictive clauses to the constitution:
http://www.constitution.org/billofr_.htm

Lastly the additional amendments that have been added over the course of history:
http://www.constitution.org/afterte_.htm

Bread recipe

2008-11-20T14:09:00.000-08:00

Here is the recipe for the bread I have been making. There are many more recipes in the book or on their website at www.artisanbreadinfive.com but this is the main one. I may take some pictures of the next loaf I make if I remember.

The master recipe is adapted from Artisan Bread In Five Minutes a Day

3 cups of lukewarm water
1 1/2 tablespoons yeast
1 1/2 tablespoons kosher salt
6 1/2 cups unbleached, all-purpose flour, more for dusting dough

In a large bowl or plastic container, mix yeast and salt into 3 cups lukewarm water (about 100 degrees). Stir in flour, mixing until there are no dry patches. You can mix this with a wooden spoon or in a large mixer, like a Kitchen Aid, with a dough hook. You do not need to knead this just mix well. Dough will be quite wet. Cover, but not with an airtight lid. Let dough rise at room temperature 2 hours.

Bake at this point or refrigerate, covered, for as long as two weeks.

When ready to bake, sprinkle a little flour on dough and cut off a grapefruit-size piece with serrated knife. (I find for my family I need a larger portion than this)Turn dough in hands while coating lightly with flour to lightly stretch surface, creating a round loaf. You do not kneed the dough at this point. Just form it into a loaf. Place the dough on pizza peel or a greased cookie sheet sprinkled with cornmeal; let rest 40 minutes. Repeat with remaining dough or refrigerate it.

Place broiler pan on bottom of oven. Place baking stone ( I don’t have one and it still turns out fine)on middle rack and turn oven to 450 degrees (I do 475 ); heat stone at that temperature for 20 minutes.

Dust dough with flour, slash top with serrated or very sharp knife three times. Slide onto stoneor put cookie sheet in oven.Pour one cup hot water into broiler pan and shut oven quickly to trap steam. Bake until well browned, about 30 minutes. Cool completely.

EDIT. I forgot to include this dough makes a large batch that you store in the refridgerator until needed. It can keep i nthe fridge up to 2 weeks and the longer it rests in the fridge the more sourdough-y it tastes.

Up your nose with a rubber hose!.... or a googly eye. Your choice.

2008-11-20T13:55:00.000-08:00

I can't tell you about girls yet, but boys are crazy and do stupid things. For about 2 days that I am sure of, Tait has had a stuffy nose. I just assumed he was getting a cold since that is the usual around here this time of year. I also noticed when he talked, his nose made a rattly almost buzzy sound. I just figured it was snot in his nose since what else would it be right? I even called my friend who was supposed to visit that day with her 2 girls not to come because we were getting sick.
Well last night I was playing with him and had him in my lap tickling him. I was asking if random body parts hurt and then would tickle it when he would say yes to every one. When I asked if his nose hurt he say yeah ( with a buzz/rattle sound). Well i looked at his nose as he tipped his head back and saw something weird stuck in his left nostril. At first I thought it was a booger, but it looked too big to be a booger. Jerek went and got me the tweezers and I ended up pulling one of these googly eyes you glue on crafts out of his nose. Instantly he was breathing normal and no more buzzing was coming from his nose. Oy. If this is the type of things he is doing at 2 I don't want to know about the coming years. For your viewing pleasure I have added a picture of the eye that was lodged in his nose for 2 or possibly more days. Enjoy!

More no 'poo

2008-10-24T15:26:00.000-07:00

I forgot to add this link when talking about no 'poo. It talks about one woman's personal experience with not washing her hair with shampoo, but only using water.

No 'poo and stuff

2008-10-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

So, i have been on a homemade kick lately. There seems to be an infinite supply of recipes, how-to's and instructions on how to make anything you need from scratch.
I have made a lot of foods from scratch as that is how I was taught to cook.i can make most anything from scratch given i have the right ingredients or a recipe. I can improvise if I need to. I feel this is something I am good at.
I have recently been making homemade bread for dinner most every night. It is something I really enjoy making and what could be better than fresh bread for dinner every night? I have been using a recipe from a cook book called Artisan Bread in 5 minutes A Day
I LOVE this cook book. You make a big master batch of dough that you keep in the refrigerator and each day you cut off a piece, raise it for an hour and bake it. It makes really good bread too.
I have also been making my own dishwasher detergent. It works really well and is a lot cheaper than premade stuff. And a tip I learned is you don't really need ti fill the soap cup all the way 1 tablespoon works good and 2 tablespoons for really heavy loads.
Next I am going to make my own Laundry detergent. I have a friend who swears by it and it ends up costing .01 cents per load. Yes you read that right. Point zero one cents per load.
You can make home made window/all purpose cleaner easily and cheaply. I personally think this works better than Windex or 409.
This last week I have been going no 'poo. That means no shampoo. You scrub your scalp and roots with baking soda and rinse the ends with apple cider vinegar. There are a lot of harsh chemicals in shampoos that are absorbed into your skin very easily through your scalp. Here is a good article on that.
I get some of my inspiration from this website. This lady makes a lot of things from scratch and has raised and home schooled 8 kids.

ZZZZZZZZZZ...

2008-09-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

It is so exhausting waiting for mommy to make dinner.

pictures

2008-09-16T14:21:00.000-07:00

I have had many requests that I add some new pictures of the kids to my blog. Here you go.

We went to the zoo last week . This is a replica of a bald eagle's nest. With 4 little chickies!

This is Alison in her stroller at the zoo.

Jerek and I went to go see my sister and her family in California a few weeks back and here is a picture of her little girl faith with Alison. Faith is on the left, Alison on the right. They are about 5 weeks apart.
More Faith and Alison. Faith on the left Alison on the right.

Super Happy Cute!

2008-09-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

I neeeeeeed this book. My friend has it and I want to make all the super cute baby animals.

Here's to homeschooling.

2008-09-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

Through a series of events out of my control we are looking at not being able to start the school year till October. That puts us at ending the year in July. This makes for either a short summer break next year or we are stuck on this new schedule forever.Neither one is a choice I like. Anywho, this little video is pretty funny.

It's a girl!

2008-05-25T21:07:00.001-07:00

Alison Nichole Hodge
7lb 10oz 20" long
May 23rd 4:44am

My Hero

2008-05-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

For the last couple weeks we have had a suicidal bird intentionally running into our bedroom window over and over in the mornings. It would arrive between about 5:30 to about 8. You could even stand in the window and it would still sit on the gutter and then fly into the window repeatedly for a couple hours. Really annoying. Especially on the days he would show up at 5:30 on a Saturday.
So Jerek went and bought pellet gun and took care of it this morning. Oh happy day! Now I can sleep again. Or at least attempt to sleep since that is hard to do anyway lately.

Birthday from the darkside

2008-04-02T15:40:00.001-07:00

So Jeshua wanted a Star wars cake this year. More specifically the death star. Here is what I came up with.
I have to say it turned out better than I expected.

I will be posting pictures of the party yet to come in a few days.

Easter

2008-03-24T14:53:00.000-07:00

I am finally posting some pictures of the kids. Sorry it took so long.Here they are with the Easter baskets. I had to take the picture fast before Tait started tearing into his. Jeshua doesn't like smiling for pictures lately.
This is what my boys look like when their hair is actually combed and they are wearing nice, clean clothes that don't have holes in the knees. They clean up pretty well I think.

Happy Valentines Day.

2008-02-14T09:53:00.000-08:00

Here is a lesson in sweet talking for all you guys out there. Being cute and fuzzy doesn't hurt either. ;)
happy valentine's day!

No,No Touch! HOT!

2008-02-12T21:12:00.001-08:00

Tait has ,hopefully, learned a valuable lesson.Last night as I was getting dinner ready, I turned on the oven to preheat before I put in a chicken pot pie. Then I went downstairs to do a load of laundry while the oven heated up. While I was doing that Tait started crying so I went to go check it out. He was standing in the livingroom holding out his left hand. I asked the other boys what happened, but they were heavily absorbed in watching a movie and had no idea. I looked at Tait's hand and it had dark brown scorch looking marks on his fingers on the palm side. I went to the kitchen to get some ice and I noticed the oven door was hanging open. I know I didn't leave it like that so Tait must have opened it and tried to grab something inside. I ended up having to take him to the urgent care and they bandaged him up and gave me a prescription for silver sulfa-something that I have to put on everyday and keep it bandaged at all times. He seems not to mind it too much yet, but I have the feeling it may get on his nerves after a few days.
Be prepared for pictures as soon as I get around to taking some.

Remodel update

2008-02-04T10:12:00.000-08:00

Here is the most recent development of our remodel project. Let me tell you the crown molding kicked our butts! Jerek measured and we cut it exactly but when we got it up to the top of the ceiling the corners just didn't match.if we held it against the wall lower down it was fine, but it just didn't fit against the ceiling. I am starting to think you can fix anything with a big box of joint compound though.

Cookie on a stick and asbestos floor tiles.

2008-01-21T09:53:00.000-08:00

We took a trip to Ikea Saturday to look at some furniture and some laminate flooring.I have never seen a store so packed with people! We had to drive around the parking lot for about 20 minutes just to find a parking spot. We finally found one back by the freight doors. We are doing some remodeling around here to make room for our next addition.
As we pulled up the carpet we decided the vinyl tiles underneath look ancient. Jerek looked online and they appear to be asbestos tiles. Fun! So we are going with plan B and we will lay the laminate over the vinyl instead of ripping it out first. Here is a picture of our progress so far.

After our shopping the kids were starving so we went to Shari's just down the road. Kids eat free on Saturdays! They give these huge cookies on a stick to the kids with their kid's meal. Tait thoroughly enjoyed his as you can see.

We're having a......

2008-01-11T11:22:00.000-08:00

Healthy baby! Sorry, couldn't resist teasing all you who wanted us to find out the sex of our baby.
We didn't, but I do have some sonogram pics to share.
They are a little low quality as I don't have a scanner. I took a picture of each of these with my camera them loaded them on to my computer.

These are of the profile looking at the side of the baby's face.

This is the baby's foot.
This is a head-on look at the face.
Everything looks right on and the baby is perfectly healthy. They did bump up my due date by a week so it is now June 7 instead of May 31. It is a little disappointing to be back a week but I am sure I will survive.

Catching up.

2007-11-30T10:11:00.001-08:00

Here are some random pictures of what I have missed over the last weeks of not blogging. I have been too tired and busy to get to it sooner.

This is all the Hodge cousins on Nana's couch. This was taken over Thanksgiving weekend.

This is the birthday cake I made for Hayden's birthday party.
Tait was loving the swings at the pumpkin patch.

The boys with their friend at the pumpkin patch.

Here we go again...

2007-10-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

I think the ticker at the top of the blog says it all.

Yarrrrr, and all that....

2007-09-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

As it is National Talk Like A Pirate Day, I will take the time to promote an RPG game that we play online called YoHoHo Puzzle Pirates. It is really fun and combines a lot of little puzzle games into an RPG where you play a pirate. You can join a crew, go pillaging on ships, hunt for sea monsters in atlantis and even buy houses, pets and clothing to customize your pirate. If you check it out, look for Rustinsmommy. That's me. =)

www.puzzlepirates.com

My New Friend

2007-08-22T14:40:00.000-07:00

So I stepped outside to get the mail today and I saw this.

This spider is probably about 3/4" to an inch across not counting the legs! I hate spiders but I think this one has lived her a while without bothering me. We also have hobo spiders around here. Hopefully this one eats them.

And to counter the ugly, here is a picture of cuteness.

My Grandma passed away last week so my sister came up for the funeral. She and her little boy stayed with us for a few days. Karsten is almost 2 so he and Tait had fun playing together.

County Fair

2007-08-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

We went to the Fair last weekend and I never got around to posting pictures from it. Here they are now.

I don't know why Rustin isn't in this picture. He must have been on a ride.

This is the barrel of monkeys at the end of the funhouse ride.

Beep Beep! They loved these cars and the little button that was the horn.

MMMM! Tait gets the leftover cotton candy. I was surprised the kids didn't really love the cotton candy. In fact Jeshua hated it.

Post cotton candy stickiness.

Welcome To The World, Kyler!

2007-08-03T10:35:00.001-07:00

So My sister-in-law had her baby yesterday. He is sooo cute! He looks a lot like his mom. He joins an older brother and 7 cousins who are all boys. Someone in this family needs to have a girl!

Here are some pictures of when we went to see him last night.

The boys were excited to see their new cousin, but the tv next door was more interesting than holding the baby.

I got to hold him for a long time. And no, I don't have baby fever now! =p

Visible Grace Garage Sale

2007-07-10T14:36:00.001-07:00

My friend is heading this up and wants us to invite anyone and everyone to come. So, come shop for a good cause!

4th of July

2007-07-09T13:57:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from the 4th. I was going to take some of the fireworks and forgot so you just get one of the kids playing in the sprinkler and watching the parade.

Tait loves the water!

Hayden loves the candy.

Here is Hayden and Jeshua running threw the sprinkler.

And this is the water balloon fight. It was so hot everyone was glad to get soaked.

Yay My Pictures Work Again!

2007-06-18T12:09:00.000-07:00

I haven't been blogging much lately as I like to add pictures and I couldn't get my pictures to download to my computer. Well I finally fixed the problem so now I can post things again.
And by special request from Ashby I will tell you about the trip we took to see my sister.
It was really fun to be able to hang out with my sister and her family. She has a little boy, Karsten, who is about 1 1/2 and he is so cute! I got to huggle him all week so I didn't have to miss my kids too much.
We went to the jellybelly factory while we were there. It was really fun to see how they make the jellybeans. And it smelled so good when we walked in . They make you wear paper hats for the tour which you can see Jerek loved wearing.

And here is the picture spot with Mr. Jellybelly. Karsten was afraid Mr. Jellybelly and wouldn't sit for a picture.

The best part of the tour was the FREE SAMPLES! We bought some called belly flops that are the ones that are not the right shape and such. They came in a 2 pound bag. We bought 2 bags and we ended up eating them all before the week was up. That's right 4 pounds of jellybeans in about 4 days.

So...Yeah... that was out trip.

You're only as old as you feel

2007-05-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

So my birthday is tomorrow. I will be 28. Jerek has reminded me that I am only 2 years from 30. I have thought about my age a bit recently and I think I am a bit stuck at like 21-23. I find my self talking about people we know 20-23ish and saying they are my age, which Jerek is sure to correct me of. =) I actually don't have any problems with getting older.I don't mind at all that i am getting close to 30. Besides, who decided 30 was a bad age? The closer I get to it the younger it seems. When I think of myself, I never think of my age as a number.
I remember laughing as a kid how my mom had to think for a while to remember her own age. At the age of 13 you NEVER forget your age.
I was accused the other day of wearing a shirt that is too young for me and it got me to thinking about this. I don't want to be one of those people who you see and think, "It looks like she borrowed her daughters clothes" even though I have no daughters he he.
I am often faced with the same argument in my head( yes I do talk to myself) every time I buy clothes. I am not ready to wear mom jeans and those classic never goes out of style tops. I love the fashionable things that will go out of style in a couple years, but when are you too old to shop in the junior section? They have such cute clothes there, but am I too old? Why do stores have either juniors or the women's section with a vast difference in the styles? We have young or boring. Laugh if you want but this is an important issue! =)
Also when are you too old to wear 2 braids in your hair or pigtails? That is a whole other subject in itself.

Still Sick

2007-05-01T13:18:00.000-07:00

After almost almost a week of health we are sick again. Jerek had a stomache bug yesterday and a sore throat and cough has been served up to me and Rustin. Hopefully the stomache thing wont pass to the rest of us and the cough is a small cold that will leave quickly. ( yeah I know, wishful thinking. I am the optimist though.)

sick

2007-04-23T11:21:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but we have been plagued with illness for about 2 months or so. I went to a women's retreat on March 4 and I was coming down with a cold then. It turned into a terrible cough that I had until about a week ago which ended in a terrible sinus infection.
When I came home from the retreat Jerek started battling with some faith related depression issues, then over the next few weeks the boys and I also got the stomach flu which made it's way around the family 2 or 3 times, I lost count. Now Jerek has had a fever since Tuesday. He was feeling better Friday morning but I told him he should call the Doctor anyways as in my experience fevers don't just appear out of nowhere and instantly disappear a couple days later. He had taken Tylenol all night so I figured that was why his fever was down. Well at about 4 that afternoon his fever was back and he felt as crappy as ever so I had to take him to urgent care as the doctor's office was close then. After about 3-4 hours we came home with an antibiotic for him to take, but he still has a fever today. I am going to call the doctor today again and see what the lab results say.
I am starting to feel like sick is normal anymore. Jerek's brother is getting married in less than 2 weeks and it would be nice to be well for that.
Sometimes I feel this is a spiritual attack. When I came back from the retreat I had a renewed sense of the Holy Spirit and I feel I have grown spiritually quite a bit in the last couple months.
Jerek used to be the strongest one of us in the faith department so I don't see a coincidence in the depression and illness with my growing faith.
Pray for us if you think about it!

Giggles Galore

2007-04-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine had posted this on myspace but I am going to repost it on this here blog as it is too cute not to share. Thanks, Connie!=)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCLPsaMkpKM

To those who left comments on my last posting....

2007-03-30T08:45:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the encouragement and prayers guys! I was having one of those hormonal days at the time I wrote that post. It is still a big struggle but it was looking worse than reality at the time. I was able to talk to a teacher that works with special needs kids and got some advice on how to redirect some behaviours and she told me it is ok and probably beneficial to cut down his work load. Hopefully we can work something out.

I am not a teacher.

2007-03-26T13:44:00.000-07:00

I am so overwhelmed right now.I do not have teaching skills. What was I thinking when I agreed to homeschool the kids? I have been struggling so hard this past week yet I have no alternative. Private school is too expensive and Jerek doesn't want to do public school at all.Honestly, one of my kids is difficult to teach anything. He has a stubborn streak to no end and If i say to do something it is not going to happen. Would he do this to a teacher at a real school? i feel I am making him dumber instead of teaching him how to do his school and the frustration that is building in me is hurting our relationship. I don't know what to do from here...

Who I am...

2007-03-05T11:32:00.000-08:00

I went on a women's retreat with my church this past weekend. It was a lot of fun but I am exhausted this morning.I should have been less social and slept more.
Anyway, one of the ladies in the church did the teaching sessions. She spoke about who we are in Christ as women. She talked about the different things that satan uses to attack us to draw us away from God. The 4 main ways he uses are doubt,shame,fear and blame.
I spoke about some of my past which has really shaped me into who I am right now. I thought maybe those that did not go on the retreat may want to hear it too, so I am posting it here.

Almost three years ago, on May 29, 2004, my worst nightmare was realized. That day I learned God's sovereignty first hand.
At that time I had 4 little boys. Rustin , Jeshua , Kalin and Hayden. For those who don't know my story, Kalin and Hayden were twins. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with twins. It was scary and exciting and happy all at once. I had always had the dream of having twins and with each pregnancy I had hoped it would be so. God had given me my dream.
It was a lot of work having a 3-year-old, 18-month-old and twin babies. I had 3 in diapers and one recently potty trained.
Kalin was very colicky. He would cry all day and then he would sleep all night out of pure exhaustion. He had a hard time eating. He refused a bottle and would barely take the breast. He didn't gain weight as well as Hayden did but he was still a decent weight. I can't tell you how frustrating it is when you have a baby that is crying so hard and so often and you are powerless to fix it. I took him to the doctor all the time and of course he never cried there. The dr. was no help. He just said it is colic, go home and don't worry about it. Kalin would cry so hard, and arch his back so far, he was rolling from tummy to back at 3 weeks old when he weighed less than 5 pounds. He was 8 weeks premature and had little muscle tone. This was not a normal happening.
When the babies were about 6 months old we decided to buy a bigger house. It sort of just fell in our lap. The housing market went low and the interest rates dropped enough that we could get a markedly bigger house in a better location and not really have a bigger house payment. Things happened very fast. We fixed up a few things and made it look really nice. When we did put our house on the market, we got an offer on it the next day. We took the offer and then had to find a house we wanted to buy.We found a few but the market was so hot that we couldn't put in an offer fast enough. At our realtor's insistence, we finally took a look at one we had been passing over. It was a little too expensive, but it could work. We fell in love with the huge back yard and we really liked the floor plan. We decided to put in an offer. We offered lower than we expected them to accept, but they did. So now we were going to move in about a month. We had a lot of things to do in the mean time.
At this time we were involved in a church plant. We had meetings every week with food and a video followed by discussion. The plan was to grow that little group into a church congregation. We didn't get very many attendants though so the support was going to come to an end. We had all decided to fast and pray for 24 hours to really seek God's guidance. I remember praying that God would show himself to me in a real way. I don't think I expected to really see this happen.
I had never fasted before, but I was determined to stick with it to the end. By about 4 in the afternoon I had a terrible headache. I don't really know if it was from the fasting or what but it was bad. By 7 it was so bad that I contemplated going to the hospital. I fed the babies and went to bed. I left the dishes on the table from dinner and the packing undone. I couldn't do it. I have never had a headache like that in my life. It was worse than any pain I had ever felt.Including drug free childbirth. It totally paralyzed me from doing anything but lay in bed. Kalin was particularly fussy that night. He just cried and cried. No one could console him. I remember praying that God would make him go to sleep so I could sleep also. Jerek's Parents and brother came at like 8 or 9. They were going to stay and help us move in the next couple days. They camped out in the living room and dining room on the couch and extra mattress. We asked them not to sleep in the babies' room where the extra mattress usually was. They snore and the last time they slept in there, the babies hardly slept at all.
When Jerek came to bed, kalin was still crying. We were the cry it out type parents. He had been fed, he didn't have a dirty diaper, and he didn't need anything. He needed to sleep and so did we. He cried so often it didn't really seem like there was anything out of the ordinary going on. Normally, I would have rocked him or tried to nurse him. That night I was so out of it I didn't do anything. My head felt like it was going to burst open. And any noise made it worse. We put our earplugs in and prayed for it to get better.
At about 2:30 or 3 am I had a terrible dream. I dreamed I was in the middle of a war. Jerek and me were soldiers in the trenches. It was dark and there were bullets and rockets going off. As we got closer to the enemy troops we saw they had a hostage. The hostage was little Hayden and they were going to torture him terribly. I knew that he would be better off with Jesus, so I shot him in the head to save him from the torture. I never have violent dreams. This one frightened me awake. I got up and went to the door where the babies were sleeping. Kalin had quit crying a while ago. I started to turn the handle and then thought better of it. I didn't want to wake them up and start the crying all over again. My head still was pounding, so I took some more Tylenol and went back to bed. I don't know if that dream was prophetic, coincidence or what, but I have never had a dream like it before or since that night.
I woke next morning feeling much better. My headache was gone. The sun was shining in the window as Jerek and I talked about the exciting move we were going to make in the next day. Hayden started crying so I went in to get the babies for there morning feeding. When I got to the crib they shared I noticed that Kalin wasn't awake yet. This wasn't that odd. They could sleep through each other crying some times. Kalin was under the blanket and when I pulled it back he didn't look right. He was on his tummy and his face looked very pale. I touched his cheek to wake him, but he was like ice. I knew at that moment he was gone, but I panicked and screamed for Jerek to come help me. I have always felt like Jerek could fix almost anything. As irrational as it sounds today, it made perfect sense in my mind that he could fix this. We took him to our room and laid him on the bed. Jerek performed CPR even though it was too late. He had probably been gone a while. Jerek's brother called 911. I remember feeling like it was not me that was going through this,it couldn't be.It happens to other people but not me. It was so surreal. I cried out to God for a miracle and I screamed, but there were really no tears yet. I was numb. When the paramedics and police came it was like something you see on TV. The paramedics took one look and said, Sorry it is too late. When they left, the medical examiner did his thing while the police questioned everyone about the previous events. I honestly don't know what I said to the officer that talked to me. I remember thinking that it was horribly rude to be interrogating us at this time, but I know they have to do their job. The medical examiner ruled it SIDS. No answer to what went wrong, he was just gone.
We called our former pastor who was a good friend and told him what had happened. He and his wife came over right away. They loved on us and spoke words of encouragement. I remember Keven quoting some scriptures and the one that was the most encouraging at the time was from 2 Samuel 12:23 Where God punished David for committing adultery with Bathsheeba and then murdering her husband to have her as his own wife. David's child with Bathsheeba is struck ill and David fasts and prays for God to give him mercy and spare the child. When the child dies, he gets up and washes his face and eats. Then he worships God in the temple. The servants are perplexed by his behavior and ask him why he is no longer fasting and praying. He responds with the words that were so encouraging to me. He said"But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."
These words may not sound encouraging at first, but as Keven explained to me it appears David is saying the child is now in Heaven. He says, "I will go to him." So I will see Kalin again someday. Just not here on earth. As difficult as that is, There is HOPE! It is not permanent. In fact, I will be with him for eternity. I just need to wait a few more years.
Somehow, God gave us peace like I have never felt. Even though my heart was shattered, I was able to see that God does have a plan. I may never know the why of it but I know who is in charge. I know that everything that happens to me is for a reason. I am now equipped with tools that can possibly help others who are hurting and grieving. I've grown a lot in my faith these past few years. I struggle with other issues in my walk with God, but one thing that God has shown me without a doubt is, He can help me through the most painful times I can imagine. He gave up his son too, only he gave his son to save the very people who sin against him everyday. people who would curse his name. I can't say I would give up any of my children, let alone if I only had one to give, for those who don't know me.For those who would treat me badly or not care about me. Romans 8:28 says And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose.
He says ALL things. That means even the ones that bring pain and suffering.
I know the death of a child doesn't sound like it could ever be something good. It isn't, but through this I have been able to understand more deeply His sacrifice. He can take that experience and use me to impact people I may never have reached before.
He knows what it feels like on a much bigger scale. And he has given me so many things to be thankful for even in times like this.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about Kalin. It is so easy to fall into the "what if..." trap. I should have done something different. I should have held him; I should have fed him. Why me? What did I do wrong?etc. The only place that will take me is guilt and shame. God does not want these things for me. He wants me to trust him to give me what I need. Even when it doesn't make sense to me. He has allowed me to turn the "not-fairs" into "I am so blessed.He gave me 3, now 4 more beautiful babies. He gave me twins so my arms would not be empty. He is so gracious even in the pain. He gave me a wonderful supportive husband who even in his pain was there to comfort and hold me. He allowed the timing to be perfect.We moved just 1 day after Kalin's death so we would not have to deal with the painful situation of living where he died."
Jerek and I were there to hold each other up. We decided we were not going to let this tear us apart, so we prayed God would help us to give healing to each other. And He has answered that prayer.
I hope that others can see His strength and peace through me and be encouraged to carry on and rest in His arms. That is the most peaceful place I have ever experienced and it is right where he wants me.
1Peter 5:10 says And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
I know God is faithful in his promises as he has done this for me. I still grieve the loss and it still hurts tremendously, but God has given me a strength that I would never have had in a less painful situation.

Oh wheeeeere is my camera.....

2007-02-22T10:36:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I can't find my camera. It has to be around here someplace. I think I will just blame it on Jerek. Yeah, he had it last....
I will just tell you about the good day I had Tuesday. I always have the kids wih me on the weekdays and never really have time to just be alone. Well we were in Coquille, where the grandparents all live, this weekend. Jerek's parents were coming up to our house on Tuesday anyway and we were coming home on Monday. We left the chillin's with them over night and they brought them back on Tuesday. I was able to sleep in late, do nothing for a few hours, take a shower without worrying about the kids burning down the house or killing each other, then I went shopping at the mall for a few hours. I can't rememeber the last time I went to the mall alone and just looked at thngs without a time limit or even had time to do anything alone without a time limit for that matter. It was very refreshing.

King Kong

2007-02-12T11:39:00.000-08:00

Warning, If you haven't already seen KING KONG( The most recent one, not the old black and white one) Don't read the following.

OK, so we finally got around to watching King Kong. It was a good movie but it was SCARY!! I mean, I can handle the the giant monkey and all the violence. It's the bugs! The horror! And the leeches! For Pete's sake the LEECHES!I have nightmares about such things and I honestly could not watch some of it.
Phew, now that I have all the drama out of the way I can type without the caps and exclamation points.
The parts with the bugs and leeches were really gross. Why does everything have to be huge on that island? I don't get it. And Jerek thought Rustin could watch it. Good thing I said no way before we even started it.

fwd:fwd:fwd:

2007-02-02T13:48:00.000-08:00

Sorry, but I need to gripe for a minute. Why do people send those inspirational, chain mail, sick-kid-is-dying-Bill-Gates-gives-money-each-time-someone-sends-this-on to each others email? They are usually stupid or you have already heard them a million times. Seriously now, How could it even be possible for whoever it is that is donating for each email sent to track this?? There is a website I like to check everything by called www.snopes.com. I would say about 99% of the forwards I get are false. I never send anything on unless it is true. It is so easy to check it our first. Sorry if any of you reading this are the type that like to send forwards. If you enjoy them, that is great. I personally don't like them and I delete them unread as soon as I check them with snopes. * gets off my soapbox* >.> <.<

I like to sew it, sew it!

2007-01-26T16:46:00.000-08:00

I am so excited , I have to post it on my blog. My new sewing machine is finally here!
I ordered one from overstock.com on the 17th. They sent me the tracking number and when I checked it on the 23rd, It was delivered to Athens, Ga. I called them to see what was up and the guy put me on hold for an insane amount of time. He came back and said he talked to UPS and they told him it was the wrong tracking number. UPS was to email me a tracking number in a day or two. Well that never showed up so I called UPS yesterday and they acted like I was stupid for thinking they could give me a tracking number. Overstock had to do that! So I called overstock again, and that lady said it was the right package but it got delivered to the wrong address somehow. She shipped out a replacement as who knows where my sewing machine actually ended up.
Today I get an email that gives me a corrected tracking number for the original order and the tracking number for the replacement order. Guess what?! The package was out for delivery from Tualiton. So I now have my original order which was indeed the wrong tracking number not the wrong mailing address, and I will be recieving my replacement next week. I have to call overstock and get a return lable when that one comes or we have bought 2 sewing machine and I only need one. Whew! Next time I think I will just go to Costco. My mom likes hers from there.

The language of body?

2007-01-25T14:22:00.000-08:00

Here is a free lesson for those of you not fluent in body language. Watch. You might learn something. =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9YTxff3pHU&NR

So Tired

2007-01-22T13:01:00.000-08:00

Tait fell asleep while playing today. I thought he looked so cute using his stuffed puppy for a pillow. Luckily he didn't awake when I took his picture. It seems to always turn out they wake up or quit doing the cute stuff when the camera comes out.
You might notice a bunch of socks under his head too. We use the laundry basket to keep him corralled in the living room. He makes short work of throwing all the socks out of the basket. Must be a very taxing job.=)

Snow Day

2007-01-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

We woke up this morning to a blanket of snow covering the ground. It looked like so much fun the kids had to go play in it.

Hayden is so bundled up he can hardly move.

Jeshua got hit by a snowball and he is explaining where a piece of snow got between his mitten and his coat sleeve.

He is very disturbed by this piece of snow on his wrist.

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-22T15:16:00.000-08:00

Have a Merry Christmas everyone. To celebrate, here is a cheesey video of Jerek's most favorite Christmas song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3HC2Wq3Zsk
Enjoy!

More crochet

2006-12-20T11:13:00.000-08:00

For the few people who have asked me, Here is a link to a good place to get patterns to crochet things. I have been making the "easy double crochet hat" but I modified it a bit. It is a really easy hat to make and doesn't take very long. www.crochetpatterncentral.com
Here is Tait modeling the hat I made him for Christmas. SHH. Don't tell him. It's a surprise.

A new hobby

2006-12-13T22:32:00.000-08:00

My friend taught me how to crotchet yesterday. It is alot of fun. I made a hat today, but I think I did something wrong. It doesn't look like the picture on the pattern and it is too big. I had fun though. Rustin keeps asking me to make him a hat. I think I need to get a new pattern or smaller hook to make one small enough for him. I don't know enough about crotchet yet to know which one I need to change.
I should have learned this a few months ago and I could have made everyone a hat and scarf for Christmas. I am sure that would have been everyone's favorite present.=)

Tait on the move

2006-12-06T16:16:00.000-08:00

Tait has started crawling last week. He is now getting into EVERYTHING! The rest of the boys waited til about 10 months to crawl. Tait on the other hand has 3 very rowdy brothers he has to keep up with. I was not ready for him to crawl and be mobile yet. With the first one you can't wait for them to crawl and hit all those milestones. By number 4, you wish they would wait a little while. =)

From Thanksgiving weekend

2006-12-01T13:53:00.000-08:00

Wow ! It has been a long time since I last posted here. I finally got my pictures off the camera so here ya go. These were taken at Jerek's parents house. The boys are sitting at the "kid table" with their cousins.

And this is Daddy feeding Tait chocolate pie. Bad daddy! He is now ruined forever on eating healthy.=)
And this one was taken at a friends house Monday.Tait and Hannah are about 6 weeks apart.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-21T17:26:00.000-08:00

Well, we leave tomorrow to go see the fam for Turkey day. I don't really enjoy the late night driving but it will be a fun weekend for us. For some reason I have the feeling this will be a really good Thanksgiving. Not sure why. Hope I am right.

I will post some pics when we get back but for now enjoy a little Monica Turkey-linski.

mystery muffins

2006-11-17T17:52:00.000-08:00

I stumbled along this article just now while searching for something else. No wonder these things taste so darn delicious. Everything that tastes good will eventually kill you.
http://www.anchoragepress.com/archives/document1adf.html

Poor Taiter

2006-11-17T12:19:00.000-08:00

Tait has had a fever the last few days. Poor little guy. I think he got it from me though as I have been coughing all week. He might be teething but I see no signs of anything on his gums.
The hard part is he wants me to hold him constantly even while he sleeps. He isn't really taking naps and I can't really get anything done without him screaming his head off.
Jeshua has also decided that he is now scared of ghosts in his room. I try to tell him that ghosts aren't real but I am not very convincing apparently. He will dress in the hallway so he doesn't have to be in his room and he really doesn't like the door shut when he is in there. I have been praying with him and reminding him the Jesus is real and always with him and will help him not to be scared. I am at a loss how to help him at this point.
He is more than nervous. Last night I was doing some laundry and I told him to go put a clean blanket on his bed. He instantly panicked and almost passed out from crying so hard. (yeah my kids pass them selves out from crying) I ended up having to go upstairs with him and he was still in a big hurry to get out of the room once the blanket was put away.
Ahh the joys of being 4. Made up things seem so real.

500 alarm chili.

2006-11-13T18:44:00.000-08:00

I made some chili tonight and had to improvise my recipe a bit. I usually make it with canned tomatoes that have the green chilies already in it. Well I ran out of those so I try to season it my self using some trusty old cayenne. It tasted good but was a bit too spicy. Was still yummy though.
Reminds me of when Jerek and I were first married. I made my first pot of chili all by myself. I was so proud of myself for making this ginormous pot of real texas chili. There was just one small problem. I didn't have any chili powder. I didn't know what cayenne was but I did have that. The recipe called for 1 tablespoon of chilipowder. Chili powder, Cayenne, they are all made of peppers. Same thing, right? Wrong! It was the hottest chili I ever tasted. In fact I think it was the only thing I tasted for a few hours after. Jerek and one of his friends ate several bowls of it and needless to say, they suffered horribly as it digested. I did too but not for the same reasons. = )
I now know the difference and I still have the same bottle of cayenne that I had then. That is how sparingly I now use it.

Let's try this on for size

2006-11-11T12:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I am new to this. I can't promise frequent updates but here is a blog to keep everyone up to date on what goes on in the Hodge household.

I worry a bit as we lead pretty boring lives with not a lot of action and you may get bored reading the things I have to say. Consider yourself warned.

I will now attempt to add some pictures. Let's hope it works.
These are pictures of when we went to the pumpkin patch and the halloween costumres the kids wore. Oh, and a picture of Tait when he got out of the tub last night. He loves getting clean!